Chain Unbroken
by Draconian Elflord
Summary: A monologue from Thomas's POV. He expresses some of his feelings about his life, and how he achieves closure. Rating because there's a little sex in it, but no details. Please Read and Review, but don't be cruel.


Chain Unbroken  
  
Beek: " Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep." Thomas: " I'll translate. He means don't forget the disclaimer." Elflord: " I know that! Jeez! Would everyone just leave me alone? I will not forget the disclaimer!" Beek: " Beep, beep." Thomas: " I agree. You need to get yourself under control!" Elflord: " I need to get myself under control? Argh!"* Screams uncontrollably*  
  
Well, I guess it'd be irony not to include the disclaimer now. I don't own Zoids, don't think I'd like to, just like to write fanfics, but don't own Zoids.  
  
* * *  
  
To wake from a nightmare.why do we have nightmares? Why do we dream at all? Is it just that we lose contact with the conscious mind, or does it reflect our true desires? I'd like to believe the latter. That would explain why most of my dreams are about Fiona.  
  
Hmm.Fiona. Why don't you understand that I love you, worship you even? Why do I love you? Count all the reasons. One.Five.Twenty.Sixty.One hundred twenty.and there are probably more. And you, what do you think of me? Maybe you dream about me too.  
  
I don't know why I bother sometimes. Maybe you'll never notice me.  
  
It's not a very good parallel, but it's just like Karl and me again. Everybody loves Karl. Ever since we were kids, he just upstaged me every single time. I mean, don't get me wrong, Karl is a great big brother. I can't even imagine how many ways he's influenced me. But, once in a while, it'd be nice if it weren't all about him.  
  
It's just like Fiona and Van. Van's a great guy, but Fiona pays attention to him all the time. Sure, Van's a hero. He's one of the best. But why does Fiona have to admire him so much? He has his faults just like anyone else  
  
I guess it's all about Van.  
  
No matter how hard I try, I'm always in the background. Why? Why can't someone give me a break? For just once, I'd like someone to think of Thomas as the hero.  
  
Or is it really me?  
  
Did I form this conflict all by myself? Is it really true that I'm in the backdrop, or is that myself projecting myself on the world? I know I do that often.  
  
If only I had Fiona with me. Then I'd feel better.  
  
Oh, Fiona, how I've dreamed about all the things we'd do if you loved me as I love you. Visions of Fiona. The first time I saw Fiona.The first time I spoke to Fiona.Fiona, drawing water from the stream when I told her I loved her. And for our future.Fiona, sharing a kiss with me.Fiona, arm in arm with me.Fiona, pledging her love.Fiona, lying naked in my bed.(Oh, good lord, did I just say that aloud?) Well, I guess there's no denying I am attracted to her that way.  
  
Why don't you see, Fiona? Why don't you see how much I love you?  
  
God damn it, how do I get myself into these messes? All I ever do is try to prove that I'm worthy, and then I go and rationalize everything away. What the hell am I trying to prove, anyway?  
  
And who am I trying to prove it to?  
  
Maybe I'm trying to prove it to myself.  
  
There it is. There's the secret I've been searching for. If I believe myself worthy, then so will she.  
  
Perhaps they never saw me as unworthy at all. It was just me. I was the one who saw myself as unworthy, not them. Not Karl, not Fiona, not Van, no one but me.  
  
My father once told me that the chain is only as strong as the weakest link. From that day forward, I promised myself I would not be the weak link.  
  
In, one way, he was right. A chain needs every last link in the chain to be complete.  
  
But there are no such things as strong and weak links. Every link is weak in some way or another, and similarly, every link is strong in some way or another.  
  
We are all a chain, and I just one link. Am I a "weak" link? No. Nor am I the strongest link in the chain.  
  
But in the end, it ends up that it is a chain unbroken. Every link in the chain should be proud of that.  
  
And so am I.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
